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Codependency Symptoms Quiz 2 concludes the discussion to help you become truly helpful to those in need by making sure it's their need...not yours. Find out if you're addicted to being needed, and what to do about it. 

Codependency Symptoms Quiz

Continued from Codependency Symptoms Quiz

Codependency Symptoms Quiz (continued): 

7.  If someone you love has a substance abuse, emotional, spending or gambling problem, do you avoid confronting them?

8.  Do you measure your self-esteem by how much someone depends on you?

9.  Do you ever remind people where they would be without you?

A. If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, read the rest of this article and monitor yourself for the next 3 months to verify your answers.

B.  If you answered 'yes' to 3 or more of the above, you may have a codependency problem.  Read the rest of this article, get a trusted friend who is independent of you to keep you accountable, and read a couple books on the subject of codependence.

C.  If you answered 'yes' to 5 or more of the above, do 'A' & 'B' above and ask your friend to attend an alanon, narconon or codependents anonymous meeting with you. 

Causes Of Codependency: 

Many codependents, like other addicts, blame the people around them for their problem, or, more accurately, use them to deny their problem.  'I'm not codependent, I just love them so much.'  'It's just that they need so much help.'  'They couldn't get along without me.'  Let's face the facts...the needy people in your life need to learn to take care of themselves, take responsibility for their own problems and begin to solve them.  If you'd stop bailing them out, they'd learn to handle life's challenges, themselves.  So, actually, you're hurting them!  (we're not talking about a rare emergency situation...we're talking about a lifestyle of neediness.)  I remember how upset I was when, in my early 20's, my mother told me to get a job and move out of her house.  It was the best thing she could have done for me.  I resented her for at least 5 years.  If you can be as strong as my Mom with the habitually needy around you, you're not codependent.  Codependency, like any other addiction, is caused by a feeling of emptiness...a low self-esteem.  Instead of a drug, a codependent uses the needs of others to make themselves feel whole.  That's why no one around them is allowed to recover...the codependent wouldn't be needed.  

Cure For Codependency: 

The only cures for codependency require finding the genuine, healthy sources for a positive self-esteem, to replace the negative ones.  You can learn all about these things at codependents anonymous meetings. You also have to learn how to 'wean' your needy people off of your help.  This is a dysfunctional relationship, and often results in the 'needy' person abandoning the codependent.  Although very painful, this is better for both people...forcing them to find better sources of fulfillment.  It's good for the codependent to find productive and fulfilling activities that don't involve satisfying needy people.  This can be done with sporting activities, art, school, etc.  There are many ways to be productive without attachment to a chronically needy person.  Ultimately, we codependents must face the fact that our self-worth comes from the value placed on us by a loving God.  By pursuing a healthy relationship with the One who loves us unconditionally, we can be healed of our codependence for good.  If you want God's help with your codependency, just click on Healing From God

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