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entry Jun 13 2008, 02:33 PM
Every life situation is driven by attitudes. This is one of the most powerful keys. We can control them and use them to literally change our whole experience of life, from one of false starts, conflict and failure, to ever-improving successes. Our relationships can improve in amazing time. Our performance at work can be improved. We begin to see possibilities where we used to see roadblocks. Addictions fall away into our past, never to return, because we no longer have an addictive attitude. What if there was nothing in between you and your greatest dream of achievement? There is nothing...but our attitudes! If it's good and legal and harmless and you dream of doing it, no one can stop you except you. It's our motivating thoughts and emotions that make us think someone or something is stopping us. If our attitudes were changed so we understood this resistance we're getting is there to make us stronger and better able to do what we dream, everything would change. Stop signs would become stepping stones toward a whole new reality. This is the reality, if we choose to control our attitudes.

entry Jun 6 2008, 12:01 PM
Attitudes are motivations, unseen, and often unexamined deep within us. We all develop these deep motivations so early, we're unaware of the process. Some have suggested that even unborn children are learning attitudes, based on the emotions displayed around them. As we grow, emotional events are recorded in our minds with great importance, forming unconscious motivations for almost every action and reaction later in life. As we live, our experiences either reinforce or alter these motivations. Most of these attitudes are so deeply imbedded, we never have to think of them, but they drive how we think and act, almost like remote control. Attitudes are more obvious under stressful situations, during conflict and under the influence of chemicals, like alcohol. Ever wondered why you behaved badly under a certain condition? My violent father would break things and then hit people when in conflict. Though I vowed never to be that way, I discovered (by destroying our coffee table) that my father had programmed my attitude. Fortunately, I was reading about attitude at the time, so I had, and used, the tools to see to it this never happened again.

entry May 23 2008, 02:24 PM
Well...the final exam on the journey from having blood in my urine 3 months ago. The results of the CT scan were clear, and so was the sistoscopy. If you want to stop here, having the answer, this will spare you the details. For those curious about what this is like, I'll continue writing.
After undressing from the waist down and covering myself, the nurse applied pain killer. It left a burning sensation that lasted a few minutes. I looked at the instrument to be used. It appeared to be a black tube about the diameter of a milk shake straw around 18" long, with what looked like a microscope eyepiece on one end.
The doctor rushed into the room, shook my hand and said, "Let's get a look at things and send you on your way. The whole procedure will take about two minutes." Then he began putting that tube in, um...me. It had to turn a pretty sharp corner to get into my prostate, at which time he said..."this is the hard part." It was! it was extremely uncomfortable and the natural response is to clamp down with every muscle. I got the idea that the way to make this easier is to force my muscles to relax. There was no pain after it was in, but I could feel the scope moving around in my prostate and bladder...very strange. Then the doctor said, "OK, we're done."
He gave me an antibiotic and told me there might be some pain or light bleeding for the next day or so. I said, "I guess so!" There was a little blood and a whole lot of pain during urination for the next 36 hours. Everything is back to normal.
All in all, the standard price for the blood tests, xrays, medicine, CT scan, four examinations and PPscopy will be somewhere around $ 5-6,000. Our part of the cost will be about $ 2,000 before we hit our deductible ceiling. Given the amount of inconvenience, pain and costs involved, next time I find blood in my urine, I'll wait for a recurrance, fever, extreme pain or blockage before I call the doctor.

You're probably as happy as I am this is the last episode in this journey.

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